Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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