You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
