So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
