Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
