On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
