so that wasnt chicken after all
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
