He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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