I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
