Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
