I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
