I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
