Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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