"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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