yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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