He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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