I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
