something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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