literally had 100 drinks last night.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
