She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You dont lie about slip and slides
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
you never un-have a 4some
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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