I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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