I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
