so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
