forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Everclear isn't food dammit
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