I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
