dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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