My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just forgot I was standing up.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
