brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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