I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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