she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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