Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
