in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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