Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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