we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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