Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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