Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
