you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
