Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you didnt know i had herpes?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
