the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
