Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
