Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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