Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
