I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You're like the curious george of whores
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
