The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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