No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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