Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
