I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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