3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
lol hangovers are for mortals.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize