Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize