Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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