I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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